Kia’s Answers

Dear Kia,

What do you think of shagging on the first date??  Is it better to wait or just go for it??

Thanks, Cindy, 18

Dear Cindy,

My recommendation is always to wait at least until the second or third date - you need a little time to figure out what you might want from the man and what you think he might want from you before you jump in the sack.  He might be a really nice person and end up being your best friend even if the relationship never kicks off but if you just shag cause that’s what you think you should do then you could miss out!  I have heard men voicing how  unimpressed they were by laides offering themselves up on the first date so I think it’s still a practice our fairer sex should maintain no matter how long of a dry spell we’ve had!

However, there are exceptions!  If by the end of it you’re both panting and salivating and know that if you merely brush his arm with your fingertips you’re both going to be ripping each others clothes off and be humping like huskies in the middle of the street then by all means - go for it!  What if by trying to be prudent you give up a chance for amazing lusty sex?!  You’d no doubt always regret it (unless you get a text later on in the week telling you he’s probably given you crabs). 

In this day and age, everyones opinion of what is right or slutty can be vary so much.  If you and your date have barely chatted about anything rude during the date then it’s probably not best to put it out there right before you say goodbye - that might lead to a “uh… don’t call me, I’ll call you” scenario.  If you’ve been chatting about sex all night but you’re still not entirely sure then hold yourself back rather than accept that invitation to come up for a sweaty, ‘oh-my-g0d’ coffee.  Try not to see only what you want to see and trust your instincts.

Good luck on your future dating!

xo, Kia