Kia’s Answers

Dear Kia,

My girlfriends so clingy.  I really like her but she’s always calling and texting me and wanting to come over.  I just want to be able to hang out in peace sometimes.  What can I do to make her realize it’s annoying?

Kye, 20

Dear Kye,

Ah, the age old clingy girlfriend.  Unfortunately our sexy image aimed culture seems to be producing a lot of insecure ladies at an alarming rate!  I suggest keeping her away from trash-mags if possible.  Nothin’ says “you’re inadequate!” quite like this seasons “must haves” which are all over $500 which she can’t afford!  Ah, good old Cleo, how you mock the common secretary…

Men like lists.  Here is a comprehesive list for making your mooney moocher man up and mellow out:

1. Do not stop answering her calls - that induces panic and therefore even more calls.  Instead, be patient but add nothing to the conversation.  Hear what she says and agree or disagree but don’t strike up conversation.  She’ll soon run out of things to say.

2. Leave her texts for an hour or two.  Say you were in the shower/playing soccer at the park with the boys/had your headphones on while playing Playstation.  This will make it not an avenue of instant gratification when she recieves your text.

3. Explain the concept of the boys night out to her and ask her to trust you.  If she calls or texts during the night, do not respond.  Then when you talk to her next tell her you’re dissapointed in her and you thought her trust would be a big step in your relationship ect.  Then the next time you go out you can almost be sure you’ll have more space than space itself! (not literally cause that would mean she’s on the outskirts of our dimension…)

4. To stop her always coming over to your house just explain to her that yes, she is your whole world and you love her more than anything in the world but sometimes you just want to play Dawn of War wearing only your jocks for 6 hours straight and you’re sorry if that dissapoints her but that’s the way it is.

I wish you a happy and peaceful relationship here on in.

xo, Kia