Dear Kia,
I’ve been with my man for 8 years now. His parents have decided to take him & his brother on a two week cruize over new years & they’re paying. I was not invited. Not sure what I should think of this?
Fiona, 27
Dear Fiona,
I can’t tell you what you should think yourself but I can tell you what it looks like from here. It looks like they haven’t taken you in as one of the family yet. In most families where the children are now adults, any long-term partner of those children should be given the same courtesy as the children themselves. If they are not given the same courtesies or at least assumed inclusion in family events then it’s fair to say that your boyfriends parents have not accepted you as being part of the family.
The only cure for in-law unnacceptance is to do one of the following:
a) prove to them that you love their son somehow. Read the 6th book in Harry Potter for ideas: maybe only when you want to be the one to rub salve into his scratched up face cause he was clawed by a warewolf will his parents see how much you care about him.
b) get married. Nothing says ’sticking around’ like getting the hitch after 8 years! Heck, even let your in-law mum to be plan the entire wedding just how she wants it! But then renew your vows and do it your way while you honeymoon in Fiji…
c) give them granbabies. Nothing softens an oldies heart like the sight of a new born. The fact that it emerged from your clacker might make them cut you a bit of slack and they might like you for the son you gave their son. (big risk though… can’t put it back if it doesn’t work…)
d) Completely flip out at a large family gathering. Have an absolute crazy spaz-attack! Then his family will all tip-toe around you for the remainder of their lives taking great pains not to upset you and ’set you off’ again.
I hope this brings you some clarity of where you stand and I hope you do something awesome like go party for two weeks non-stop in rio and pash heaps of gay guys while your lover is stuck on a cruise with his olds. Lol!
xo Kia
