Hi Kia,
I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now, things are fantastic I love him to bits HOWEVER I recently came into contact with a past lover of mine and I spoke to him for hours on the phone and I feel as though we really hit it off.
Now I feel a bit confused as to my feelings towards my boyfriend, why do I feel like I connect with my ex?
Hope you have some good advice!?
Tessa, F, 19 WA
Dear Tessa,
Of course you connected with your ex, you have history together and not all of that history would’ve been all bad. You might’ve revisited old stories and in-jokes that only you two shared and that would make you feel secure, remembered and loved again. However, even thought the ex’s call is making you confused about your current boyfriend, you now have a year of history there too and you’re still making memories together each day.
If you feel like you’re facing a choice - see whether there’s a chance to try again with this old flame or stay in your current happy relationship I’d have to say re-visit the reasons that you broke up with your old lover in the first place and face the fact that you have broken up with this other person once but there’s no reason to break up with your new man.
Ex-sex is easy, you know each other, it’s familiar and comforting. But if you choose to rekindle the relationship there’s always that minefield of old issues that were enough to ruin your happily ever after the first time round. I say if you feel you can or have resolved those old issues then it might be worth the second shot but only if you’re okay with losing the current man. If it doesn’t work out with the ex and you want to get back with your current boyfriend he’ll probably now have trust issues with you and will resent taking second place to your ex.
xo, Kia
