Dear Kia,
Do you think it’s ok for friends to sleep with each other (opposite sex, same sex, whatever) or is this a BIG no no??
Dit45, F, 26
Dear Dit45,
I believe it’s one of the most risky things you can do with a friend. In some cases it can enrich a friendship, make it a lot more fun if you’re bored and you keep it casual between you both. But then if you think of things like if you do end up in a serious relationship with someone else, will you tell your new partner? Will your friend get jealous and hate them automatically cause this new interloper took away a good f*ck buddy? What if your new partner isn’t okay with you wanting your bf and former fb in his/her wedding party if they know? Can you keep that secret without feeling guilty if you chose not to tell?
There can be so many ramifications to your friendship afterwards too. What if either person develops feelings for the other but they aren’t returned? What if you think they’re terrible in bed but they thought it was wonderful and you have to make something up about not wanting to ruin the friendship next time they want to take a tumble in your tundra? What if all of a sudden it’s awkward and your physical boundaries change, like, you used to sit next to each other on the couch to watch a movie but after you’ve boinked you sit apart in case your knees touch and you don’t want them to think you’re coming on to them…
That being said, some of the most stable, fun and happy relationships come from friendships that have gone that one step further because you’ll be in a relationship with someone who is your best friend that you respect, tell everything to and have heaps in common with!
I say with friend sex, use your own discretion, try avoid it if you’re drunk and if it does happen you should keep the communication flowing so there are no crossed wires there after your quickie in the quilts! Make love, not gossip!
xo Kia
