Kia’s Answers

A certain friend of mine has been an advocate of the ridiculously short dress for a very long time now so I thought it was time to try this baby out.  Seeing as she always has random gentlemen admirers buying her drinks for her I thought perhaps that would be a great way to measure the sucess of the Road Test - How Many Free Drinks Does It Get?

I thought I should go for quality to make it a fair test and purchased tiny but billowy black number, silver straps$110 (SORRY BANK ACCOUNT! ).  Just to keep the “Test” focused on the shortness of the dress, it had complete cleavage cover.  HOWEVER…  To make things interesting, I threw in a barrier - THE FALSE ENGAGEMENT RING!!!!  $5 from Diva - scaring men away from the girls night out since who knows when!  Mwa ha ha!

After securing my ride into town I stepped out of the car and immediately the stupid thing billowed over my head baring my knickers to the world.  Take that Paris you prude!  Heading up towards a tiny club that wasn’t very full I decided it was early days so I purchased myself a vodka red bull to get things started.  We were sitting on the couch when a guy who had evidently started a lot earlier than even us punters, sat next to my equally male companion and proceeded to tell us a long and choppy story before ambling in a zig-zag fashion out of the club…

Fearing a complete Road Test fail, we tried the pub up the road - here, we had sucess!!!!!   First drink was from a tourist buying a round for his mates and then one of his mates unwillingly had his drink sacrificed to the pretty passer by in the tiny dress - moi.  Checking for rufies I downed myself a cocktail which he claims he invented himself while working as a bar tender.  I had finished in the time it had taken him to try to yell that information to me over the band (which was awesome) so he promptly turned around to purchase me another drink.  I said to him “Wait, before you buy me another drink I would like to point out that I am engaged.” he looks at my convincing $5 piece of CZ and tin before shrugging his shoulders and passing over another $15 for a Second drink for the duration of which I had to come up with a fake fiance and a good reason he wasn’t out tonight.  I showed a picture of Vincent, our Pet Psychic who is still learning to type before he can post any blogs, and said that imaginary fiance was at home looking after the cat.  The conversation carried on at snails pace until we thought we’d try tiny club again to broaden the spectrum of the Road Test.

One of my friends, realising what a gentleman the tourist was, took him with us for the short walk to the tiny club and had a conversation that carried on a lot faster - too fast maybe because by the time we lined up for the next club her tongue was somewhere in the vincinity of his tonsils.  Way to go girlfriend!

Almost immediately upon entering the tiny club I was spotted by a friend who immediately asked what I was having which ended up being my Third drink!  The night may have carried on much the same but I decided to play good samaritan in a short dress to a recent aquaintance.  I carried her to the bathroom and stayed there while she ejected many drinks and made sure she didn’t pass out and drown on a soggy toilet roll or fall to the prey of a lusty pirate.  My Fourth, Fifth and Six drinks were free that night also (yay!) on account of them being water for my new friend who said at that point “Seriously, dude, I love you.”  Lol!  Heading home soon after that on account of having second hand drink on my shoes, I recapped the night:

SIX FREE DRINKS (water counts - if it’s a liquid baby, it’s a drink!) AND LOVE FROM A STRANGER (who is now my BFF on Facebook ).

I give the short dress: 5/5

Stay tuned - next Kia Road Tests the Convectional Oven…